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i am alone. alone here and alone in the world. alone in my heart and alone in my mind. alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as i can remember. alone with my family, alone with my friends, alone in a room full of people. alone when i wake, alone through each awful day, alone when i finally meet the blackness. i am alone in my horror. alone in my horror.

i don't want to be alone. i have never wanted to be alone. i fucking hate it. i hate that i have no one to talk to, i hate that i have no one to call, i hate that i have no one to hold me, hug me, tell me everything is going to be all right. i hate that i have no one to share my hopes and dreams with, i hate that i no longer have any hopes or dreams, i hate that i have nobody to tell me to hold on, that i can find them again. i hate when i scream, and i scream bloody murder, that i am screaming into emptiness., i hate that there is no one to hear my scream and there is no one to help me learn how to stop screaming. i hate that what i have turned to in my loneliness lives in a pipe or a bottle. i hate that what i have turned to in my loneliness is killing me, has already killed me, or will kill me soon. i hate that i will die alone. i will die alone in my horror.

more than anything, all i have ever wanted to do is be close to someone. more than anything, all i have ever wanted is to feel as if i wasnt alone. james frey a million little pieces